Sick of Being Alive

I feel

all these lies

around me

the betrayal in disguise

my soul

is eaten up inside

and I´m

so sick of being alive

Let me go

and I´ll truely be free

just let go

And I will be happy

give me the razor

watch my blood hitting the ground

there is nothing more

watch me dying, I´ll make no sound

I´m weeping

lie dying

maybe I´ll be sleeping

and then I just slide away

in the dark

Let me go

and I´ll truely be free

just let me go

and I will be happy

love came never around

I never had a cutie

hate was all I´ve found

So I fall from heavens beauty

I´m trying

and Betraying

But I´ll die crying

and not saying

anything

I feel

all these lies

around me

the betrayal in disguise

my soul

is eaten up inside

and I´m

so sick of being alive

I´m sick of being alive

just four minutes or five

and the pain will be away

just one thing left to say

I´ve never meant to hurt you

I´ve never meant to betray you

I´ve never meant to hate you

No reason for me to stay

I hope I will just fade away

I feel

all these lies

around me

the betrayal in disguise

my soul

is eaten up inside

and I´m

so sick of being alive

I thought

            I´d rather feel pain then nothing at all

but now

            all the pain builds a huge heavy wall

around me

            and so I only see my live´s wreck

so let me

            leave this damned world and I will never ever come back       

Affection

I am

going insane

It gnaws at my brain

so I can´t maintain

cause its too much pain

And You

do it your way

So it goes away

now its not the day

and the world is in Grey

So now

every hurt heals

Like under your heels

you know how it feels

like these devil deals

but its you

This is a new Kind of affection

when you look in my direction

Its the heat in this reflection

And It feels like an infection

of your perfection

Your Breath, your view

so I want to

Hear your voice

this is my choice

your smile, your eyes

my heart never lies

This is a new Kind of affection

when you look in my direction

Its the heat in this reflection

And It feels like an infection

of your perfection

It was

only a short look

and it really took

my heart like a hook

so for you its an open book

I hear

every heartbeat

and I´m feeling your heat

cause your breath is so sweet

and your voice like a tweet

You are

everything I want

a good feelings` font

your arms are my haunt

and so I only want to jaunt

with you

This is a new Kind of affection

when you look in my direction

Its the heat in this reflection

And It feels like an infection

of your perfection

Your Breath, your view

so I want to

feel and touch you

I want to kiss you

your smile, your eyes

this love never dies

This is a new Kind of affection

when you look in my direction

Its the heat in this reflection

And It feels like an infection

of your perfection

I will

never loose you

do what I have to

to bring love to you

and this love is true

This is so new

This is a new Kind of affection

when you look in my direction

Its the heat in this reflection

And It feels like an infection

of your perfection

So lets go to the action

I teach you every section

within our connection

its a pure affection

you´re inside my protection

I will protect you

I will defend you

I will believe you

and I will trust you

I´ll beg for you

And I´ll be there for you

because I love you

I really do...

Red Faery

 Red Fairy
crawls through flesh
creeping silent in your ear
ripping every part of your brain
red Elfin
little Alars
hitting innocent air
1000 times a Second
She seems so float
over the carnage
Red Sprite
her Eyes so beautyful
shining like light guzzling
flames on her visage
her fragile limbs
so innocent
so accomplished
covered in blood
Red Fay
flying circles
around my face
guiding my way
through the dark Night
safe and secure
to the Abyss

No Compassion left

Without  Emotions
Without love and Hate
Without Compassion
being your own Devil
being my own
my own
acheronic
diabolic
Deil
Your innocent
cute little Body
Innocence
There Should be compassion
There should be sympathie
should it?
I´m sorry
But There is no Sorrow left
Every Emotion
love
Hate
pain
is gone
drowning in isolation of my Genocide
in my Head
in my Fantasy
my Dreams
without Emotions
without feelings
Don´t know where you are
are you still alive?
are you?
I´m not Jesus
I don´t Care
Without Feelings
Without Compassion
Without Heart
pure Energy
I am Sorry
but I´m Aware
I´m not Jesus
I don´t Care

Night´s Shadow

Extinction in my Mind
Genocide in my Fantasy
release me, let me go
Want to escape my Head
abscond my own ideas
hopes and Dreams
they embarres me
the nauseation of myself
mass murder in my sweetest dreams
and love,faith and happyness
in every nightmare
Carnage in my darkest hopes
please bury me alive
so i could drown
in wet sand
and in your fantasy
beause i still believe
your darkest thoughts
would not scare me

Sweet Beloved

Sweet Beloved
buried hatred
mistress of mine
Remember the Kiss
slashin´your flesh
suckin´your blood
my Darling the silver Bullet
billing my Valentine
my present for your cries
shuttin´them silent
down
bury hope
tear your Heart
abandon all hope
biased voices
singing their aggeressions
singing their lost insanity
screaming for the angels hug
tear your heart
and feel the cold kiss
of hot steel
my sweet beloved

Thought Jumps in Abaddon

Meister
Ich hasse dich
warum denkst du nichtmehr an mich?
was ist aus all den Versprechen geworden?
ewig und für immer
nichts als Staub und Asche
mit Herz und Seele
nur ein  vorsich hingammelnder Haufen organischer Emotionen
sie stinken
die ganze entfernung
bis ans ende der Welt
und ich rieche sie
egal wie tief du sie vergräbst
ic reiß dein Gehirn auseinander
von innen zerrieß ich die Windungen deiner Sündigen gedanken
warum ist die Beute entflohen?
sie war weg bevor ich sie sah?
gefallen
ich erwecke sie zum leben
ja das werde ich
Meister hilf mir
nur um sie zu töten
und zu fressen
einzuverleiden
und schon kommt der Hass zurück
und wo ist die Jagd?
wo das adrenalin bevor sich der Finger um dne Abzug krümmt
?
Ich will dich reißen dich beißen
ein Spiel spielen
ich verwirre mich
verirre mich in mir
springe
um zu sehen was hinter den
pochenden Mauern dieses Labyrinths ist
ich springe
und falle in den abgrund
vielleicht
nur vielleicht
seh ih dich da wieder
gnade uns Gott
oder was auch immer...